Sapphire-grubbing Mike (Colin Friels) gets the show underway by wildly fornicating with Stella (Kris McQuade).
Mike is buddies with partner grubber Johnny (Harold Hopkins) as they hunt for sapphires in central Queensland - in even more wretched tin shanties just across the way in this small community lives tall Ted (Bruce Spence) and bearded, aged Hans (Ralph Albring).
The buddies decide that they'll peg some new land, but then the big boys, led by evil, smirking Andy (Dennis Miller), with guns and 'dozer drawn, move in on their stake.
'Word is they're pegging everything that isn't nailed down', says Harold, and the 'dozer shows Andy means business by flattening Mike's car.
Luckily a beguiled city slicker, Doctor George Spencer (Norman Kaye), his wife Merl (Dinah Shearing), sweet daughter Jennifer (Lisa Peers) and boyfriend Peter (Andrew Sharp), a wet, drooby lecturer in economics, turn up and ask if they can park their caravan for a little while, so they can soak up the exotic air.
George is wildly excited by the 'authentic', dinkum dirt grubbing ways of the locals, though wife Merl isn't quite so enthused. 'Come on Merl, let's go native', says Peter and so they do, even if Stella isn't that keen on the city slickers hanging around.
Mike tricks the innocent, enthusiastic doctor into driving them out to peg their new claim, and for a moment it works, with Andy apparently giving up and driving away.
But then the local cop (Rob Steele) turns up to explain to Mike that he didn't lodge his claim, and now he has to vacate, so Mike sneaks around at night, fires up Andy's 'dozer, and makes off with truckloads of dirt from the diggings.
Natually the cop comes back, checks around and having done his duty, warns Mike not to try it on again.
Mike takes his point, but then he's hidden a bag of sapphires under Stella's bed. He would have bailed her out, he tells Stella, as Johnny heads off to the town's Thai buyers with the loot, and returns with a briefcase of cash.
Then Mike decides he'll match fire with fire, buy a 'dozer and capitalise the business (even though earlier in the show economist Peter wondered whether anyone had done a feasibility study).
Luckily they strike it rich, Johnny admits Mike was right, and Mike says he doesn't mind if he's rich or poor, but he's got to have a go …
Cue aircraft salesman Alfred (Simon Chilvers) who turns up with a light aircraft, ready to do the deal with the buddies. Alfred is shocked when Mike proposes flying at fifty feet to spot sapphire fields, but when he says he's pretty sure it's not allowed, Johnny counters by asking how they'd know.
Told the cash price for the plane is $22,000, Mike produces a swag of money and invites Alfred to start counting. And when Alfred asks if they can fly, Mike says he's going to teach them. And when Alfred says he's not allowed, they invite him to take off his coat, and relax and have a beer …
Then they go for a wild, drunken flying lesson which sees Johnny kiss the earth on his safe return to solid ground.
That night Alfred recites a Henry Kendall poem around the camp fire. Naturally the talk of bellbirds gets Jennifer interested in Mike, and Stella's not too impressed, planting a kiss fair on his smacker as a territorial claim.
Stella's forced to do some hard drinking with Ted in lieu of sex, and when she apologises to Mike the next day for getting a little pie-eyed and promises to make it up to him that night, Mike passes on the offer. He says he's tired of the performances.
Meanwhile, Alfred takes the chance to explain to Stella that he's recently divorced …
That night, as Alfred sleeps with Stella, an explosion wrecks the new mining gear. Looking at the damage in the morning Mike promises revenge - so they blow up Andy's outhouse, his trailer, and his water tank.
With Johnny a better pilot, Mike susses out a new claim from the air, and the buddies get stuck into the new claim with gusto, and a musical montage to John Williamson's song… and somehow Jennifer's now installed as a truck driver and loving it…
But Johnny's not happy - if Mike falls into the habit of shouting at him, he'll punch Mike on the nose … and he's not too keen on the philosophy of leading a shit life today, for the rewards tomorrow …
Worse, when Mike tries to sell his new finds, he discovers the Thai dealers have knocked the price down from 130 to 85, because of over-supply.
Mike returns with the bad news, and Peter guesses straight away that the bottom's fallen out of the market.
Johnny tells Mike they're now in for just over $25,000 a month. That much? asks Mike, as Johnny tells him they've got no option but to sell all the equipment.
"What the hell are you trying to achieve?", Johnny asks. "We had sanity once, we'd get up in the morning and decide whether we wanted to scratch our bums or work our guts out, and away we'd go, and it was bloody terrific. I used to love working hard, and now I hate it … we're sweating from dawn till dark ripping everything out of the ground … so we can get more machinery so we can rip more out of the ground. Where do you think we'll end up?"
"I don't know", says Mike, "but I'd still like to keep one 'dozer".
"Jesus", says an exasperated Johnny.
It turns out that Andy's offering 25% above the Thais, so swallowing his pride, Johnny heads off to see him.
Andy offers 105, and says he's in the market for claims … but Johnny's spotted the Thais in Andy's yard and tells Mike he reckons he's cooking the market.
Mike persuades Johnny they've got to have a go, and next thing Ted is standing in Andy's selling queue shouting to the world that there's a guy in town (it's Alfred) buying at double what's on offer here …while Mike heads over to the Thais to tell them there's a guy in the pub from down south (Alfred) who's paying 210. The Thais respond by offering 215, so Ted says the guy inside (Alfred) is paying 225.
Andy storms into the pub and says he'll match anything the guy's paying, and add 10%. Hans even manages to score 240 plus 10%.
And at the end of the day's trading Mike can't help gloating in the pub to Andy that it's been an interesting day, with Andy buying … and Mike buying and selling …
George and his family finally depart, and Stella wants to know if Alfred is going to leave her, and Jennifer returns to say goodbye to Mike, and then the big wet starts … so George and company don't get far, with their caravan stuck in the crossing.
When Mike and his mates help push it out, the river's up and down like a yo yo, so George and his family only make it to the pub.
That's when all the tensions simmer to the surface.
Johnny tells Mike he wants to break up the partnership, and it looks like the boys are going to go the knuckle. Instead Johnny ends up telling Mike his dog stinks … and the fight never happens.
Next morning Alfred invites Stella to get on the bus, with him, while Jennifer hops out of the car and says she wants to stay a couple of weeks, and she doesn't want to marry Peter …
Merl demands that her menfolk put the disobedient Jennifer in the car, but at that moment Johnny walks up to stand alongside Jennifer …
'Oh God, how pedestrian this is', says Peter, adding that if she doesn't want to marry him, then he certainly doesn't want to marry her …
Stella hops on the bus with Alfred, and Johnny invites Jennifer to use Stella's space and whips up a meal of snags for her.
Then Mike rocks up and says leaving's one thing, and staying's another, and he wants Jennifer with him, but before she can say anything, Ted yells out that there's a 'dozer coming over the hill …accompanied by Andy and his armed thugs.
It's duelling 'dozers at close quarters. There goes the shack and the dunny, and as Ted hastily packs up his tin shanty, he narrowly escapes a crushing. It's looking grim, but then Andy gets his 'dozer in an awkward situation, and Mike delivers the coup de grace. If he presses his claim for the land, Mike tells Andy, he'll do him, and Andy and his thugs retreat …
Johnny decides to hit the road west, and invites Mike and Jennifer to come with him, warning that they'll stuff this place eventually.
'Maybe', says Mike with a cheeky grin, 'but I'll give 'em a run', and they shake hands, the image freezes and credits roll ...
Key cast:Colin Friels Harold Hopkins Kris McQuade Norman Kaye Dennis Miller Dinah Shearing Simon Chilvers Andrew Sharp Rob Steele Bruce Spence Ralph Albring Bob Hicks Hermie De Guzman Michael Anderson John Millroy Rhonda Carling-Rogers Michael Terry Kevin Dean Director/s:Arch Nicholson Producer/s:John Dingwall
